Some things are difficult to talk about as a family, but families should always consider and discuss the potential worst-case scenarios. No matter how bad a situation becomes, it’s always far better if you’ve talked about it beforehand. You may never be able to prepare yourself for every eventuality, but there are things you can do and decisions that you can make in advance.
One issue that comes up in most families at some point is that of aging relatives. Whether it’s your parents getting older, or other family members, you should be prepared to make some difficult decisions. One thing you may need to consider is the power of attorney.
Power of attorney is an issue that even young, relatively healthy people may need to bear in mind. If an injury renders you unable to make your own decisions, someone will need power of attorney. Usually, your nearest relative will be automatically authorized to make these decisions in the event of an emergency. However, you may choose to specify who you want your power of attorney to be.
There are other types of power of attorney. If someone is unable to make any legal decisions for themselves for some reason, then they will need somebody else, known as the “agent” to make those decisions for them. The agent must prove that they have the best interests of their friend or relative in mind and that they are competent enough to do so.
The best way to help this to go along smoothly is to discuss it as a family. The situations wherein someone may require a power of attorney vary, but the most common one is a health problem or disability that affects their capacity. This could be an acute illness or injury that incapacitates them, or it may be a chronic issue, such as those which come with advanced age.
The power of attorney is designed to protect the rights and needs of an individual who is unable to do so themselves, not to let a third party take control of their life against their wishes. A power of attorney is a legal decision that must be agreed upon in advance, when everyone involved is fit to make such decisions. This is why you need to talk about it in advance.
These conversations are always awkward and difficult, especially when you’re talking to aging or deteriorating relatives who are painfully aware of what might be ahead. You need to be delicate, but clear about the potential issues involved. The whole point of this arrangement is to make sure that they feel secure and comfortable about the future, so emphasize that. The more that someone explains exactly what they want to happen further down the road, the better prepared you will all be.
One thing that may help you with any difficult family situation is family counseling. This kind of counseling can assist with a variety of issues and can act as a mediator in some circumstances.
Photo by Patrick Jansen
