Different Personality Types Can Be a Good Thing

Dave,

My husband is an entrepreneur. He has a very hard driving, energetic personality and way of doing things, while I’m more laid back and soft spoken. How can I support him best in terms of encouraging and communicating with him? I want him to know I care, that I want to help and that I’m proud of him.

Grace

Grace,

I think you’ve already taken a good first step toward all of that by recognizing and identifying your personality styles. If he’s a hard-charging entrepreneur, there’s a good chance God sent you into his life to slow him down a little, and help him keep it between the ditches. That’s what my wife does for me, and I’m so thankful she does.

Once in a while, I’ll get so wrapped up in a project or opportunity that I can’t stop thinking about it or turn it loose—even after hours or on weekends. That’s when she knows to step in and say, “Honey, did you ever think about this possibility?” Sometimes she’s a little more straightforward, and I’ll hear something like, “You know, you really need to just slow down and chill.”

The fact that you two are wired a little differently, and that you can be thoughtful and calm when he’s all over the place, is one of the most valuable benefits you bring to your relationship. Once he understands this, he’ll begin to respect it more. And when it happens, you folks are going to win in your relationship and in business. It’s going to make such a positive impact on your lives, because you’ll be making steady progress that’s more predictable and reasonable, rather than things launching into the stratosphere and being followed by the inevitable crashes that are bound to happen from time to time.

As you grow to better understand the other’s thinking, and how each is necessary for success, a great thing will be created. Your quieter, thoughtful side, and his energy and passion to pull things forward, will become the key to you two reaching heights together that you never would’ve achieved apart from each other.

I love these discussions about family relationships and business. Great question, Grace!

— Dave